circular movement
everything is coming around in a circular motion, it seems. i'm on my way to nashville for sri sri ravi shankar's talk; apparently it is his first time in nashville. i'm quite a bit excited for it; every time i visit "the sri sri" i feel quite uplifted. in the past, i have found that seeing him uplifts my spirit, in some way or another. things are going well in school and i have been thinking a lot about my major. it is currently math education. mathematics is incredibly interesting and i am so fascinated by curves and slopes and change over time, but it is sometimes difficult relating those things to practicality in the real world. i do also come to a better understanding of the fact that people are using these things a lot every day in the real world.
i find it interesting how people use 'the real world' to describe life after graduation. i sometimes wonder what my life will be after graduation. the future is always in the back of my mind. sometimes i try and think back about the past, but often it is to no avail. the future, on the other hand, brings up thoughts of all kinds of amazing adventures. fortunately, i have developed a simple confidence that i will be successful. there's no way i won't be successful! though, maybe that arrogant success consciousness developed in me because of my definition of success. to me, in the real world, success means smiling and love, rather than pure unadulterated money.
i'm currently at common grounds, a nice place in carbondale where people go with their laptops. music plays as the grinding of coffee fires away in the background. i remember coming here with my dad every once in a while when i was living at my mom's and would talk to me about my future, and he would help me with math homework.
to sum up a lot of what i have said: i am unsure about my future but i believe that i will be successful.
the past is a wonderful thing, probably more wonderful than the future. the future, for an optimistic person, is filled with positive dreams, dreams whereby one helps other and progresses. i do wonder what the future is like for a pessimistic person. the past, one the other hand, is quite different. the past is sometimes difficult to imagine, yet, my theory is that it is good for our minds to go back to the past. my conscious, lately, has been dwelling too much on the future. it would be good for me to think about my past. the problem, as of late, with thinking and writing about the past, is that darn chronology. this happened then, and that happened after that, and something else happened before then. it is a business of this and that and 'when'.
i remember sitting on the second floor of the farm house, filled with something, emotions unknown, yet thoughts firing away like cannonballs in the civil war. it was raining torrentially outside, and i decided i would attempt to become one with nature. for the few months that i was on the farm i had attempted to become one with nature, meditating, praying, bowing on naked earth.
i sat there, devoid of emotion, filled with thought, listening to the lighting and the claps of rain fall affect my ears and my brain in ways only they could. i had no plan, even though years earlier came to the conclusion that plans were the solution to all of my problems. but in this situation, a plan was not needed. i was practically alone in the middle of the woods with nothing but nature, feeling every thought that shot away from my brain.
and so, i left my sitting position and stood up, my bare feet on the floor. my plan, though it of course was no concrete plan, was simply to walk barefoot outside in the rain, and feel the grass and soil on my toes and my heel.
and so, i walked. i opened the door, and with only a blanket covering my body, i stepped out in the rain. the droplets slapped me like shores slap on mountainsides, and joy started bursting out of me like a volcano. joy, the emotional i was waiting for... i kept walking, and this new feeling and this new experience overcame me. it wasn't that i was having a realization or i was suddenly enlightened, but i could definitely feel the joy and the experience for real. this was the real world. the conclusion i came to was that rain does that to people, it puts them in the real world.
rain is similar to being in the workforce. it slaps you like an angry ex-partner and wakes you up. it is concrete experience of nature that wakes us up and makes us feel the real.
'the real world'. maybe it's the present moment, devoid of future and past.
regardless, i think the future and past are sidekicks to the present. they help it out. how could i live a decent present without thinking ahead and making a plan for the future? and how could i make sound decisions without learning for that which i have experienced in the past?
this weird experience of walking barefoot on top of the world and being drenched in rain, to me, was success. wow, what a past. there is so much potential for the future.
i find it interesting how people use 'the real world' to describe life after graduation. i sometimes wonder what my life will be after graduation. the future is always in the back of my mind. sometimes i try and think back about the past, but often it is to no avail. the future, on the other hand, brings up thoughts of all kinds of amazing adventures. fortunately, i have developed a simple confidence that i will be successful. there's no way i won't be successful! though, maybe that arrogant success consciousness developed in me because of my definition of success. to me, in the real world, success means smiling and love, rather than pure unadulterated money.
i'm currently at common grounds, a nice place in carbondale where people go with their laptops. music plays as the grinding of coffee fires away in the background. i remember coming here with my dad every once in a while when i was living at my mom's and would talk to me about my future, and he would help me with math homework.
to sum up a lot of what i have said: i am unsure about my future but i believe that i will be successful.
the past is a wonderful thing, probably more wonderful than the future. the future, for an optimistic person, is filled with positive dreams, dreams whereby one helps other and progresses. i do wonder what the future is like for a pessimistic person. the past, one the other hand, is quite different. the past is sometimes difficult to imagine, yet, my theory is that it is good for our minds to go back to the past. my conscious, lately, has been dwelling too much on the future. it would be good for me to think about my past. the problem, as of late, with thinking and writing about the past, is that darn chronology. this happened then, and that happened after that, and something else happened before then. it is a business of this and that and 'when'.
i remember sitting on the second floor of the farm house, filled with something, emotions unknown, yet thoughts firing away like cannonballs in the civil war. it was raining torrentially outside, and i decided i would attempt to become one with nature. for the few months that i was on the farm i had attempted to become one with nature, meditating, praying, bowing on naked earth.
i sat there, devoid of emotion, filled with thought, listening to the lighting and the claps of rain fall affect my ears and my brain in ways only they could. i had no plan, even though years earlier came to the conclusion that plans were the solution to all of my problems. but in this situation, a plan was not needed. i was practically alone in the middle of the woods with nothing but nature, feeling every thought that shot away from my brain.
and so, i left my sitting position and stood up, my bare feet on the floor. my plan, though it of course was no concrete plan, was simply to walk barefoot outside in the rain, and feel the grass and soil on my toes and my heel.
and so, i walked. i opened the door, and with only a blanket covering my body, i stepped out in the rain. the droplets slapped me like shores slap on mountainsides, and joy started bursting out of me like a volcano. joy, the emotional i was waiting for... i kept walking, and this new feeling and this new experience overcame me. it wasn't that i was having a realization or i was suddenly enlightened, but i could definitely feel the joy and the experience for real. this was the real world. the conclusion i came to was that rain does that to people, it puts them in the real world.
rain is similar to being in the workforce. it slaps you like an angry ex-partner and wakes you up. it is concrete experience of nature that wakes us up and makes us feel the real.
'the real world'. maybe it's the present moment, devoid of future and past.
regardless, i think the future and past are sidekicks to the present. they help it out. how could i live a decent present without thinking ahead and making a plan for the future? and how could i make sound decisions without learning for that which i have experienced in the past?
this weird experience of walking barefoot on top of the world and being drenched in rain, to me, was success. wow, what a past. there is so much potential for the future.
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